why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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