i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
It was a blind-side dick pic.
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
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