We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
Randomize
