More tranny stories later!
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
fuck your aforementioned shoe
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
