Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
Randomize
