I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
Randomize
