now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry my hands just texted you
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
Randomize