He kissed a someone with a penis
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
She's the barista slut.
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
Randomize
