lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
If I die, sorry about rent.
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Randomize
