Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
Randomize
