Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
I left my keys in the garlic bread freezer in Publix.
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
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