Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
Randomize
