I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
Naked Twister starts at high noon
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Randomize
