hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
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