If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
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