I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
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