Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Randomize
