I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
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