i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
I have so many feelings about this burrito
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
Randomize
