I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
Randomize
