are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
I supernannyed him into submission
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
