i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
Randomize
