OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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