Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
Randomize
