Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
Randomize
