You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
Randomize
