Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
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