So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Randomize
