You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
Randomize
