So called my VP's house on Sunday drunk and told him that if he didn't hire me for the new position I would skull fuck his wife. They asked me to go home today. Thanks again Vodka
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Randomize
