It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
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