Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Randomize