yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
Randomize