i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Randomize
