Michael Bay diarrhea
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
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