The maid of honor just puked.
When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
Randomize