Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
im gay
i know
yea but for you.
i think i scared a bird with my dick
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
I said "one day" and that day is not today
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
Randomize
