i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
Randomize
