From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
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