Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Randomize
