If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
i just realized that the oil change sticker on my windshield is a day before the last time i had sex. I've driven exactly 10500 miles since.
you need to get laid.. and an oil change.
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
