OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Randomize
