i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
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The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
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Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
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