but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
Randomize
