Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
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