we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Randomize
