You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
