Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
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First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize