So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
Randomize
