I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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