Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
Randomize
