my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
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