remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
im calling her cock vulture from now on
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
I licked your asshole in confidence.
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
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