There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
The uberlube is also flammable
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
I have feelings that need drinking.
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
Randomize