So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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