Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
