sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
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