Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
Randomize
