I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Randomize
