He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
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